I Knew What I Was Doing, Right Up Until You Asked Me.

How can one person be both a loud, opinionated know-it-all AND an insecure people-pleaser at the same time?  How is it that I am both a knowledgeable employee to whom people go when they have a question about anything at the office AND a flutter-brain who can’t seem to perform her day-to-day tasks the same way twice?  How do I manage to retain so much information in my head yet become so easily overwhelmed when asked a question or presented with a project?
And while I’m at it, why do I waver between feeling under-appreciated and feeling like someday they’re all going to figure out that I’m basically a useless imposter and there are zillions of more qualified people who would like my job?  Why do some people like me and others hate me?

I suppose everyone has similar insecurities.  Anyone will tell you that they do, but I still find myself doubting it.  I look at other people and think, “They seem like they know who they are and they’re confident in their abilities… AND in their shortcomings.”  Wait, confident in their shortcomings?  I guess I mean they know their limitations and their aptitudes and the definite line between the two.  “I can do this and I can’t do that.”  I seem to question my ability to do even the stuff I can do.  Am I alone in this?  Am I even making any sense?

I wish that for one day, I could step outside of myself and see me the way other people see me.  Then again, that’s a scary thought... what if I don’t like what I see?  Maybe I better just stay inside my own head where it’s safe.  I just need to come to terms with my flaws and keep telling myself that everyone else has theirs, too.  Even if they do all seem more comfortable in their own skin. What do YOU think? Am I alone in this or is it normal?