The Whimsical Life of Pico and Annette

My siblings and our mother are spread all over the eastern US, so we keep in touch through email.  We actually carry on conversations throughout each day, hitting "reply all", so that sometimes, you might not be part of a conversation but you can always "listen in".  Most times, it doesn't take long for these emails to become pretty silly.  Here is a snippet of one such email conversation:

My brother Dave: "I have been wondering for years how flowers (and other plants) follow the sun.  Everyone I asked either ignored the question or didn't know or restated the reason they do it, but no one said how.  Finally, I found an answer.  Not certain if it's the right answer, but it sounds plausible.  Plants follow the sun because of increased elongation of the stem on the shadowed side.  The growth of cells on the sunny side of the stem is suppressed by the presence of light (the growth hormone that causes cells to lengthen is photo-sensitive), so that one side of the stem is slightly longer than the other.  This makes the stem bend toward the sun during the day."

My brother Bill: "That is interesting."

Me: "No it wasn't. It wasn't the least bit interesting. Stop encouraging him!"

My sister Sue: "*yawns* I have a new grandson if anyone is interested. Not sure the sun-worshipping flowers can be outdone, though."

Me: "Was Heather pregnant? Or is it one of the boys'? I'm pretty sure I'd remember if you had told us that Rachel was expecting... so, what's his name?"

My sister Betsy (after two days with no answer from Sue): "Based on Sue's current reply rate to email, this grandson will be celebrating a birthday before we know whose child it is... or did she answer you personally, Julie?"

Me: "Nope, not a word.   I've decided to make up my own version of who the parents of this baby are... it'll be juicy!  Very soap opera-ish."

Bill: "The father is a displaced chef from the New Orleans flooding.  The mother is a waitress he met as he migrated north to escape the rising waters.  The father's name is Pico Sanchez and he is a mouse.  He fell in love with the beautiful waitress right away.  The waitress was surprised by the mouse.  She was not aware that mice could cook so well or where he kept his wallet when he tipped her as he didn't seem to have any clothes on.  She admired and respected him and eventually loved him for his skill in the kitchen.  Eventually they were married.  Thus begins our story of Pico the mouse and Annette.  Both Pico and Annette had some money saved and began their life together north of Mobile, Alabama having started their own little diner.  Recently, they had their first little one which we were told about by our sister Sue."

Me: "VERY good, but one question... Sue refers to the baby as her grandson? So is she Pico's mother or Annette's?"

Our Mom: "You people!  You build up such kooky stories, I'd nearly forgotten what the original story was. Oh yeah, Ethan!"

Me: "I think we've just been scolded by Mom for making fun of Susie's grandson. Tee hee... I'm gonna start poking her when Mom's not looking."

(So apparently, Sue's stepson Ethan is the proud new daddy. But technically Mom, the original story was Dave's flowers-bending-toward-the-sun snoozefest.)

Bill (continuing the story without missing a beat): Sue was very proud of her new grandson named Ethan.  She was not alone in this though.  Pico was also very proud and sent out letters of announcement to all his relatives who had stayed and lived through the flood in New Orleans.  Shortly afterward those very relatives came to visit Pico and Annette, all 423 of them.  Pico was overwhelmed by their family spirit.  Annette was just overwhelmed and asked Pico where they would all sleep for the duration of their stay.  "Under the sink next to the soap, of course" replied Pico.  "There are so many" said Annette as she put their son in his crib.  "Not so many" replied Pico. "Combined they make up less mass than one of your legs".  Annette looked at him with a shocked expression.  Pico began stepping backward with his paws up.  "No no, I didn't mean it like that.  Your legs are not fat.  I am just saying that mathematically speaking, one of them has more mass than 423 of my relatives"  Pico said smiling.  Annette said nothing and turned to go to get the child's bottle.  Later that night as they lay in bed, Pico assured Annette that his relatives would only stay a few days.  He was not sure she was placated.  She reached over and patted his head and said, "Well I should just be thankful you aren't a rat".  Pico knew he had that coming.  He apologized to her and they both went to sleep knowing that their son was being watched by 423 pairs of little eyes.

No one else probably cares about this, I just find my mood is lifted every time one of my family shows up in my inbox. Especially Bill... we don't hear from him very often, but when he does chime in, it's always entertaining.