Every Year, I Understand a Little More Why Bears Hibernate

It was a VERY snowy Saturday but my doctor had scheduled me for an MRI on my back in the city.  Even though it was really snowing and blowing and the roads were getting worse, I HAD to get groceries.  So I thought, “Great! There’s a supermarket right next door to the Imaging Center.”  My back had been in spasm for a couple days by then, in addition to the sciatic pain in my hip, so I really just wanted to get home quickly and safely.  After the MRI, I dragged myself through the store as quickly as I could.  I probably looked like Igor if he'd been a contestant on Supermarket Sweep.  

Next was the monumental feat of getting my shopping cart through the snow and slush in the parking lot to my car.  Once I finally loaded my groceries in, I got in the car and started it up.  I was just two car rows away the gas station that shared the same parking lot and since I only had about an 1/8th of a tank, I just needed to brush the snow off my windshield enough to drive over there and fill up.  So I grabbed my snowbrush and got out, brushed off the snow and tried to get back in.   All the doors had locked behind me.   The keys are in the ignition.  Car’s running.  My purse is on the front seat.  I always carry my phone in my pants pocket, except when I wear my comfy yoga pants, which have no pockets.  I was wearing comfy yoga pants.  My phone was in my purse.  I can barely see the other side of the parking lot through the snow.  My back and hip are killing me.  And Hubby has the only other key, but he's half an hour away.  That was a very long half hour.  

I walked over to the gas station, since it was closer, and used their phone but they had nowhere to sit and my back wouldn't allow me to stand that long, so I bundled back up and journeyed back across the parking lot frozen tundra to the grocery store to sit in their café.  And I couldn’t even buy a stupid cup of tea to warm me up because my stupid purse was locked in the stupid car.  Hubby drove up, with a happy little grin on his face… I just climbed in the truck and pointed to where the car was.

So then, a few days later…

The day started out nice enough… and then I heard a lot of banging around behind the stove, so I figured a mouse had gotten stuck in the trap Hubby put back there and apparently didn’t die. Sure enough, his little arm was caught by the trap and so was a piece of yarn that I had tied to one of the cat’s little jingly balls.  Hence all the racket.  Well, Wally was VERY excited about this find so I pulled out the drawer below the oven and let him go get it and went back to getting ready for work.  When I came back downstairs, the mouse was still in perfect health, except for that broken arm.  Wally was just batting him around, so I picked it up and tossed it out in the snow, trap and all, so I wouldn’t have mouse guts in my house when I came home.  Wally went bounding out into the snow after it and I watched him having a blast tormenting the thing, but when I went to leave a little later, Wally had managed to FREE the mouse from the trap and then lost interest in it, so I saw it scurry away while the cat just watched.  Somewhere out there is a mouse with a limp and an amazing story to tell his grandkids.

So I left… or tried to leave.  Hubby had warned me that the snowplow had left a good-sized pile at the end of the driveway and I’d have to blast through it without slowing down.  But I still got stuck.  In my own driveway.   With the trunk of my car sticking out into the road in a snowstorm.   Hubby had left for work, so I called the Boss, who sent one of our truck drivers over to free me. (I should have asked Wally to do it; he’s good at freeing things)  In the meantime, I kept starting the car to keep it warm and brushing off the back end so any cars going by could see it and hopefully not hit it.  It was snowing fast that morning!  And yes, I was extremely careful to check that the doors were unlocked before getting out each time.  I also tried shoveling around the tires, which didn’t work but did remind me of the reason I just had that MRI done.  Doc had said no shoveling.  Go figure.  So the truck gets there, and of course it’s Bill, the driver who pulled me out of a ditch two winters ago, so I’m really embarrassed.  He surveys the situation, decides how he’s going to do it and what I need to do, and I go for the door.  It’s locked!  A moment of panic, followed by several moments of thinking “I can’t cry in front of this guy!”  Bill tried the passenger side door and apparently my repeatedly hitting “unlock” each time I got out had worked on that door.  So he pulls the car out, plows the snow, and I go to work.  I’m met at my desk by the Boss, but I really just want to turn on my space heater to dry out my not-so-waterproof boots.  So I reach under the desk to plug it in.  And smack the top of my head full-force on the corner of my desk drawer.  In front of the Boss.  So I STILL can’t cry.  

Now even though it may sound like it, I refuse to believe that I have some dark cloud over my head.  I do still have a very tender spot, though.